Drunks of The Week

Clinton’s Time Coming To An End?

Hillary Clinton may be on her last leg but she’s still fighting hard.  She is campaigning for the toughest job in the world she said during a speech.  Don’t expect Hillary to give up her running for the democratic nomination anytime soon.  Obama however has already looked forward to victory.  He has not been targeting Hillary Clinton much in Oregon, but John McCain the republican nomination.  Read more about Hillary’s continued campaigning here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/05/18/campaign.wrap/index.html.

China Mourns Nationally

A 3 day national mourning has been called in China for the victims of the horrible earthquake that the official death toll is now up to 32,477 people.  Over 200,000 people were wounded in some manner.  Read more about this tragic event here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/18/china.quake/index.html.

Keith Urban’s Gonna Be A Father

The country star is all grins these days as he and wife Nicole Kidman are expecting a child.  No news yet on the do date for baby.

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Newlyweds

The wedding took place Saturday.  Read more about it here: http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/a-simpson-wentz-wonderland-wedding/20080517091909990001.

Britney Spears Back On Track

It seems that you’ll be hearing less and less negative press about pop idol Britney Spears.  The singer has reportedly been settling down a bit.  Lets just hope this is true and that it lasts.  Check out more about this topic here and view some pics of Brit: http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/music-news-story/ar/_a/britney-getting-her-life-back-on-track/20080516114109990002?icid=100214839×1202438515x1200096862.

Johnson Searching For 288th

Randy Johnson has a 10-7 career record against the Tigers and is looking to close in on number 288 today.  Randy Johnson is the starter for Arizona.

Tilman Fertitta Sell Interest In Texans

Not because they stink, but to comply with the NFL’s rule that owners can’t have businesses that relate to gambling in any way (Fertitta owns the Golden Nugget).  Read more about his decision here: http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d8085c8c7&template=without-video&confirm=true.

NBA News-Defending Champs Still Alive

I found this article and thought that you might enjoy it: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dime-080516.

NBA News: 5-18-08

Cleveland at Boston for game seven of their series.  It is obviously tied 3-3 and is do to be a big game tonight.  My money is on Lebron and his Cavaliers, but I could easily be wrong as well as the Celtics, the favorites of the series, have been playing all season.

The LA Lakers and fans are celebrating now that they have knocked off the Utah Jazz as expected in a 4-2 series victory.  The final game score was 108-105 in the Lakers’ favor of course.

Joke of The Day

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!”

-Anonymous