Joke of The Day

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

Tell her a joke on Monday.

Joke of The Day

                                                          

http://www.sexualjokes.com/jokes/276.html

Joke of The Day

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Gender-Jokes/ABC’s-of-ex-girlfriends.html

Joke of The Day

http://www.aonz99.dsl.pipex.com/htm/jokes/zero/dirty2.htm

Joke of The Day

Q: What type of dance do you do on a trampoline?

A: Hip Hop

-Anonymous

Joke of the Day

http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/british-hospitality

Joke of The Day

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”. 

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

Why is sex like riding a bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.

6. It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It’s best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don’t need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you’re with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it’s usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you’ve got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it’s nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you’re over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That’s why some of them are called Mountin’ Bikes.

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day.”
The guy says, “Am I ever! To start, I woke up late for work. On my way to work I got in an accident. When I got to work I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. Then to top everything off I came home to my wife screwing my best friend.”
The bartender says, “What did you say to your wife?”
The guy says, “I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again.”
The bartender says, “What did you say to your best friend?”
The guy says, “I said BAD DOG!”

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

There’s this man who drinks beer at a local bar every night. One night, he came in and had nothing to drink. The bartender was curious and asked him why he wasn’t drinking anything.

 The man replied, “I don’t drink anymore… Last night, I blew chunks.”

 ”Oh that’s nothing”, the bartender replies. “Everyone gets a little sick after drinking at times!”

 ”No, No”, the man replies. “You don’t understand. Chunks is my dog!

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

A young man had met a nice young woman. They both liked each other and thought the time was right.

Both of them got naked and the man lay on top of her. Before pushing his dick in he waited. Meanwhile his dick was having a conversation with his balls.

Dick: OK lads we are going to a party tonight.
1st Ball: You mean you are.
Dick: What do you mean, you’re invited too.
2nd Ball: Yeah, but you always leave us outside knocking.

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail….. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.

So she used “blow-up” dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man’s room and left them to their business.

After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.

The first man said, “I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned… how was it for you?”

The second man replied, “I think mine was a witch.”

The first man asked, “How’s that?” “Well,” said the second man, “when I nibbled on her breast…..she farted and flew out the window!”

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

http://www.ahajokes.com/crt470.html

Joke of The Day

http://www.dailymotion.com/wizzardtv/video/x5lnnm_doogtoons-elis-dirty-jokes_fun

 

Joke of The Day

Tom’s grandfather left him ten million dollars and it was the very next week his long time girlfriend Jane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Tom noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more.

On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. “Jane, the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died”

“Don’t be ridiculous…” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”

-Anonymous