Joke of the Day

Check it out here: http://tinyurl.com/mdjek9

Joke of the Day

Q. What did the penis say to the condom?

A. Cover me im going in!

Joke of the Day

Yo Mama’s So Lazy… http://www.ahajokes.com/ym07.html

Joke of the Day

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Dirty-Jokes/Church-Bells.html

Joke of The Day

God asks Peyton Manning first: “What do you believe?”

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in
hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving.
I
was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.”

God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a
seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, “What do you believe?”

Tony says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the
fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always
tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields.”

God is greatly moved by Tony’s sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat
to his right.

Finally, God turns to Brett Favre: “And you, Brett, what do you believe?”

Brett replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life.  She
cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. 
She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would
change her life.

While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer
who was trying to get his sheep across the road.  She stopped
her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her
first good deed.

After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer,
“your sheep are so cute.  If I guess how many there are, could
I have one.”

The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay.

“637″, said the blonde.

The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact
number, but lived up to his bargain.

“I’ll take that feisty one over there”, said the blonde.

Then the farmer said to the blonde, “Okay, now if I guess the
real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

Tell her a joke on Monday.

Joke of The Day

                         http://www.sexualjokes.com/jokes/276.html

Joke of The Day

http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/Funny-Jokes/Gender-Jokes/ABC’s-of-ex-girlfriends.html

Joke of The Day

http://www.aonz99.dsl.pipex.com/htm/jokes/zero/dirty2.htm

Joke of The Day

Q: What type of dance do you do on a trampoline?

A: Hip Hop

-Anonymous

Joke of the Day

 

http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/british-hospitality

Joke of The Day

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”. 

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

Why is sex like riding a bike?

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.

6. It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.

7. It’s best to have a soft place to land.

8. You don’t need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.

9. If you’re with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it’s usually best to slow down and wait for them.

10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.

11. Once you learn, you never forget how.

12. If you fall off get right back on.

13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.

14. Remember to signal before you change direction.

15. Make sure that you’ve got a firm grip.

16. Sometimes it’s nice to have a cushy seat.

17. Once you’re over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.

18. That’s why some of them are called Mountin’ Bikes.

-Anonymous

Joke of The Day

A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day.”
The guy says, “Am I ever! To start, I woke up late for work. On my way to work I got in an accident. When I got to work I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. Then to top everything off I came home to my wife screwing my best friend.”
The bartender says, “What did you say to your wife?”
The guy says, “I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again.”
The bartender says, “What did you say to your best friend?”
The guy says, “I said BAD DOG!”

-Anonymous